Salem in April, and it’s colder than a witch’s…

…well, never mind. *wry grin*

My friend Bev, who lives in Nova Scotia, occasionally is sent to this area on a business trip by the company she works for. During her trips, we manage to finagle an evening after she finishes work to get together. We usually have dinner someplace, and end up at a Barnes & Noble critiquing the entire New Age section shelf-by-shelf until the store closes and we’re escorted out. In the past, Bev’s business trips were widely spaced, and we’d go several years between them. But Bev has been traveling a great deal on business the past few months. We shared a hotel room for Boskone in February, and last week Bev e-mailed me that she’d be in Danvers for a couple of days this week. We decided to get together on Tuesday and go into neighboring Salem. Bev hadn’t visited Salem for a very long time, and I last went in 2000 with annef. Even though it was off-season and we wouldn’t get into the city until after 6:00 p.m., we hoped that some things would be open to see.

Bev and I just can’t seem to luck out with the weather. She always seems to be sent down to New England in the winter during a cold snap or after a big storm. We’ve hiked around Portsmouth, New Hampshire when we had to climb over snowbanks and skitter on icy sidewalks, in the teeth of a brutal wind. You would think that Massachusetts in high spring, the end of April, might be a bit more clement. But, no! A monster storm that had dumped rain for two straight days was just pulling out, with temperatures near freezing and whipping winds in its wake.

At least we found cheap parking. Alas, most of the businesses were closed by the time we got into the heart of Salem. We saw a number of enticing window displays, but we only visited two stores. One was a comics store that Bev wanted to see, Harrison’s Comics & Collectibles. We spent a while in there looking at all the neat stuff (including a “Prince Caspian” Monopoly game–somehow, free-market capitalism and Narnia just doesn’t strike me as a natural fit, although you could make a rather ruthless Monopoly game based on “Voyage of the Dawn Treader”–and a Call of Cthulhu board game for $55). Then we kept on following the red line on the sidewalk until we got to the pedestrian section of Essex Street. There we were pulled, as by a magnet, into the Derby Square Bookstore, which was one of the few open establishments, and was plastered with signs announcing that everything was 50% off.

We spent a long time in there, and I bought a pile of vampire-related books for fire sale prices. The proprietor said that they were going out of business, and hoped to sell everything and close by the end of the summer. I notice in the reviews on Yelp.com, however, that last August they were telling people they were closing in October, 2007. So, who knows…but the prices are terrific and the store is an absolute trip. If you love books, you’ll think you’ve died and gone to heaven. The place is nearly solid books–every flat surface piled nearly to the ceiling with stacks of books. It’s worth a stop.

By the time we got out of the bookstore, we weren’t sure what to do next. It was cold, most things were closed, and it was dark for sight-seeing. But, not far down from the bookstore was a sandwich board out on the sidewalk announcing “Ghost and Vampire Tour – 8:00pm daily.” This turned out to be Spellbound Tours. It was then almost 8:00, so on impulse, I suggested that we check it out. Bev and I ended up getting a private tour with the proprietor of the tours herself, Molly Stewart.

It was…interesting. Bev and I were more interested in the vampire aspect than the ghost part. Ms. Stewart has a surplus of personality and is an excellent story-teller. I had some minor doubts about some of her facts concerning the Salem witchcraft hysteria, but the sites were fascinating (even in the dark) and she seemed to be mostly accurate. It was too cold and windy to get involved in much dialogue, anyway. Ye gods…the colder it got, the harder the wind whipped and roared through the narrow alleyways. The only other people we saw on the streets were the homeless folks! Bev said her feet got numb.

We ended up perched on some granite steps listening to Ms. Stewart’s vampire tales with carefully suspended judgment. Alas, it was all completely inaccurate–although, as I told Bev, I could identify precisely which books she was getting her information from. She also talked about “real vampires” in a very disparaging way. But I wasn’t going to argue with her–for one thing, it’s obnoxious, and for another, I just wanted to listen closely to what she was saying, for the record. She was pretty emphatic about her own expertise. She told us she used to live in New Orleans and do ghost and vampire tours down there. I think she was a little surprised when she was talking about EVP (electronic voice phenomena), clearly used to people getting all spooked at her stories, and I asked her a technical (but sincere) question. I wondered whether digital recorders registered EVP as well as magnetic media like tape, given that some people theorize that paranormal phenomena is related to electromagnetic frequencies. But she grabbed the ball and went running off on a discussion of that.

So, it was entertaining, and the vampire talk was the same nonsense that most of the self-styled “vampire experts” and “documentaries” parrot–all from Paul Barber, Stephen Kaplan, Katherine Ramsland, probably a couple of the popular paperback books from the 80s (I’ve got them all on my shelves). I’d love to hear someone give a “vampire tour” who really knew what they were talking about, but this is Salem, after all. You pretty much get the paranormal carnival sideshow there.

We did get to see that statue of Elizabeth Montgomery as Samantha from “Bewitched”–the one that created such a controversy. I had read all about the furor in the news but I hadn’t seen the statue in real life.

We thanked Ms. Stewart copiously, because we’d pounced on her as she was locking up her museum and she could have said it wasn’t worth her while for just two people. Then we went on a quest for somewhere to eat, and we ended up at The Cheesecake Factory at one of the malls in Danvers. I’d never been to The Cheesecake Factory before, and I must say…for once, I can see what all the excitement is about. It’s truly an amazing place. The decor is just gorgeous–high ceilings, columns, mirrors, painted glasswork, the place looks like a turn of the century opera house mezzanine. Of course, with my dietary restrictions, I have to hunt long and hard through menus to find anything I can eat in a restaurant now. But The Cheesecake Factory serves omelets. Wow, are they delicious! Bev and I both had those. Since I couldn’t have bread, the chef gave me a double side of fresh tomatoes, and the omelet itself was just stuffed with veggies. I recommend this place!

I’m going to have to get back to Salem sometime when things are actually open!