Nice little ego boost…

This is part of a much longer story that I haven’t told yet, but the quick precis is: Since February 21st I’ve lost, to date, 31 pounds. I have 14 more to go.

I’ve never spent much money on clothes–for a lot of reasons I also won’t get into here. But this means that clothes aren’t built into my budget. So, I didn’t want to spend a lot of money on clothes until I got to my goal weight, because I couldn’t see the point of spending, say, $20-$40 per pair for new jeans when I’d only be wearing them for a couple of months.

But I couldn’t stand it anymore. Every single thing I own is literally falling off me. I feel, and look, like I’m wearing 50-gallon burlap bags–or like a six-year-old in her teenage siblings’ hand-me-downs. Yesterday when I was standing out at the rotary with the “Vote Yes Today” sign for the override ballot, I felt like a hip-hop artist. If I didn’t have such scary pelvic bones now, my jeans wouldn’t have been staying up at all! I used to own a few belts but I don’t know what on earth happened to them.

In the same spirit that I sometimes torture myself by poring over restaurant menus online (especially the ones with lavish color photos), I was looking up jeans online, to see what I might like to buy this fall, and how cheaply I could get them. According to the size charts, which were surprisingly consistent, based on my measurements right now I am a size 4.

I’ve been fat my entire life, as long as I can remember, so this was a bit mind-boggling. But that’s what the numbers say.

So, today, I finally stopped off at Bargain Boutique (the thrift shop that sells Mortal Touch) to see if she had jeans, cheap, to wear for the next couple of months. She had a couple of pairs of size 4. I couldn’t believe they’d fit. They looked so…tiny. But I tried them on.

They fit perfectly. They’re not even tight. Five more pounds and they’ll be loose. I’m a size fucking 4. And I’m only 2/3 of the way to my goal!

I’m actually more thrilled to have pants that fit, than by their specific size. Now I need tops, too–see above about the burlap bag syndrome. But the pants were the vital part, since I refuse to ever wear skirts again.

(By the way, lest anyone worry that I’m losing too much, or too fast, I have been shedding pounds at a steady rate of approximately one and a half pounds per week. I am barely five feet tall, and my goal weight is 110, which is smack in the middle of the “normal” Body Mass Index range for my height and a robust weight for a five-foot-tall female. I’m not doing anything extreme. I’m eating an excruciatingly healthy diet and I exercise every day. I definitely have 14 more pounds of fat to lose.)