Can I just go away, please?

We’re thirty-five days into 2008, and as far as I’m concerned, this year already sucks rocks, BIG time. It seems like there isn’t a single day that hasn’t hit me with something–certainly, I haven’t yet had one single “normal” or routine week since the first of the year–or since Solstice, really.

Today, my dad is down in the ER in Worcester. He told me yesterday that he’d had a sudden episode of stomach pain last Thursday and Friday, but it cleared up. I scolded him severely for not getting that checked out, with his cardiac history. Last night, he apparently had another episode of pain, and he ended up being taken to the hospital in an ambulance, and they sent him down to the big medical complex in Worcester. And he only called me to say that he’ll probably need a ride home tomorrow! He’s still sitting in the ER and they’re running tons of tests, and they haven’t nailed down what’s going on yet. He has a defibrillator and diabetes, so they’re checking everything.

So I have no idea what’s going to happen with that. Now I’m too discombobulated to go run my Monday errands. I feel like I should stay by the phone. (Yes, I have a cell phone, but dad wouldn’t even take the number from me.) It could be ulcers. But it could be stomach cancer. 🙁 No one knows yet.

The weird thing is that I woke up right around 5:00am, when dad said he was calling the hospital, thinking I heard some kind of trilling or beeping, and wondering if dad was okay! (I was worried about him because he takes the fortunes of the Patriots so personally, and also because he told me about having this stomach pain last week.) But it wasn’t the phone and dad said he didn’t try to call me.

*sigh* I have tons of things to do and they’re all challenging mental things that require creativity and focus, and I can’t relax or think. I’m so tired of feeling like I can’t count on anything or make any plans, even for one day, because I’m just waiting for the next piece of bad news that’s going to stop me dead in my tracks. I just want to roll up into a little ball somewhere and hibernate.

And it’s only going to get worse. I did my Imbolg observance on Saturday, and my Tarot reading for the coming octave was incredibly depressing. They’re always depressing, but this one was more than most.